“you are not

your sisters keeper

you are

your sister”

Excerpt from Lucille Clifton’s

The Message From The Ones

Identity and responsibility emerge as themes woven in some critiques of these lines from Lucile Clifton’s poem.

As the oldest sister, I have long leaned into the role of responsibility that comes with being “big sister.” Yet, in this current season of unlearning and creating space for what is best for me, I find myself releasing the weight of that title - choosing instead to just be their sister.

A respecter of boundaries.

A fixer of nothing.

Saying “no” comfortably without guilt.

Rejecting other people’s expectations.

Minding my business.

Connecting on shared interests.

Listening intently without agenda.

Daydreaming of love.

Embracing peace.

Apologizing because I’m often wrong.

Exuding a genuine warmth.

Forcing nothing.

Allowing what is in alignment.

Napping and resting.

Celebrating the wins.

Honoring my truths.

Accepting things as there are.

Courageously pursuing justice.

Happily creating art.

Honoring my inner voice.

Controlling no one.

Seeking truth relentlessly.

Thinking out loud.

Agonizing over fewer things.

Appreciating that the ripple is not a “little thing.”

Looking for my miracles everyday.

Betting on us.

Winning and succeeding together.

Taking care of myself first.

Is this what they mean when they say “doing all the things”? These things resonate with me and I will honor them in how I live as sister daily.

“Hidden Figure #1” - 2022 - by Heather Polk, assembled found images